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Mental Health

  • How to break bad habits

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    3 min read

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    Saira Mueller at Wired:

    The first step to breaking a habit is the same as building one—make a list of the behaviors you’d like to stop doing and put them into priority order. If you try to do everything at once, you’ll likely just get overwhelmed and give up, says Alana Mendelsohn, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Columbia’s Zuckerman Mind Brain Behavior Institute. Even worse, when we’re stressed out or tired, we instinctively revert back to our established habits—making it harder to break the ones you no longer want.

    […]

    If you’re trying to check your phone less often, David Kadavy, author of Mind Management, Not Time Management, suggests locking it in a lockbox for part of the day. “Make it as hard as possible to actually perform the habit,” he says. While you’re still going to get the cue to check your phone, the effort of going to the lockbox and unlocking it can help block the behavior from triggering. Or, say you’re trying to check social media less often: “Just delete the social media apps from your phone,” says Kadavy. “Block them with the parental controls or, at the very least, don’t have them on your home screen.”

    I’m sure you’re just like me. In search of a way to spend less time on your phone. I’m here to confidently say that these techniques do indeed help.

    Step 1: setup Screen Time on iOS

    ScreenTime on iOS is very effective. There’s really no need to put your phone into a lockbox. However, if you’re trying to kick the nicotine habit, I hear that technique works well.

    Step 2: disable notifications (or delete the app outright off your device)

    I have found that disabling notifications on troublesome apps is pretty effective. Deleting them off your device is 100x more effective. I deleted Twitter off my phone and while I still have an account, I have found myself in a better place mentally. Instagram still vies for my daily attention. Now that it is essentially a WhatsApp clone, full of direct messages, I can’t stay away. Now it’s just a matter of trying to read my DM’s each day before I go over my allotted Screen Time.

    Let’s say you delete all these social apps off your phone. The good news is you can still check your Twitter timeline or Instagram DMs on the web from your computer. When I’m on my laptop I’ve found that I enter into a sort of “GTD mode.” I’m in, and out real quick. Avoid the mobile app timesuck at all costs.

    You’ll quickly begin to realize that the mobile apps are all designed to pull you in and keep you on. Once it clicks for you, it’ll become so easier to stay off your phone and fill that time with shit that actually matters like reading, gaming, exercise, learning or whatever floats your boat.

  • Middle Earth

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    1 min read

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    You ever wonder why Middle-earth was called Middle-earth?

    Tolkien drew inspiration from tons of places. Buddhism? Check. Judaism? Check. Norse mythology. You betcha.

    Nordic tales had the “land of men” at the center of it all. Of course, in this context, it was really more akin to a racial homeland. Never the less, the Nordic stories and other religions for thousands of years, we literally assumed we were at the middle of the middle of the universe. The greeks believed it. The romans believed it. To be honest… we still fall into these traps today. Maybe not on an astronomical scale anymore (except for the flat-earth fools) but, I think it’s very important to take a step back every now and then and check your egotistical tendencies as a human.

    “Am I being biased?”

    “Am I being ethnocentric?”

    “Am I being selfish?”

    “Am being stubborn or self-centered?”

    Take a beat more when you can. Chill your ego. It’s good for you.

  • The Restaurant of Mistaken Orders

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    2 min read

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    Joshua Hunt for Pacific Standard Magazine writes:

    The name of the restaurant was 注文を間違える料理店, which means “The Restaurant of Mistaken Orders.” While its chefs are young professionals, the wait staff is made up entirely of elderly people living with dementia. One of the silver-haired waitresses, who has advanced Alzheimer’s disease, occasionally forgot what she was doing there.

    “What do I do?” She asked one young couple.

    “You’re here to help us order food,” the man said.

    “Ah, yes,” she said, then laughed gleefully while covering her mouth with one hand.

    It’s striking to witness such a jovial scene surrounding an issue that people tend to resist discussing openly in Japan, where 4.6 million people are living with Alzheimer’s disease or some other form of dementia. The country’s rapidly aging population means that, by 2025, the figure will rise to 7.3 million people, or one out of every five Japanese citizens over the age of 65.

    Here’s a brief clip of the restaurant in action from TBWA\HAKUHODO, and some of the community reactions as well:

    I don’t know about you, but Dementia and Alzheimers are two of my greatest fears. I imagine, I’m not alone in that regard. The self-destructive neurodegenerative attack of the nervous system is largely caused by prions. Which are terrifying, and still a bit of a mystery.

    As such, treatment techniques are still largely hit or miss and based on the severity of the disease progression, and many of the treatments still aren’t fully understood either. For now, the best thing we can do is fund Alzheimer’s Research non-profits and support ethical treatment centers such as the Hogewey in Amsterdam, which is essentially an entire town of medical professionals devoted to caring for 150+ patients.

    Places like The Restaurant of Mistaken Orders in Japan, keep the conversation of vital treatment and research alive, and unconventional concepts like this give those suffering a reprieve from the social frustrations these sorts of neurodegenerative diseases can create. It’s a charming and lovely restaurant concept that I hope stays afloat for as long as possible. I think we can all take a page out of their playbook and bring dignity, patience and respect to everyone in our lives. Wether they are afflicted with Alzheimers or just Arthritis — a little patience goes a long way.

    Photo: @rebelvisual

  • Can We Learn About Privacy From Porn Stars?

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    2 min read

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    My stage name is less about withholding parts of myself or maintaining privacy than it is a symbol of the idea that I am more than just my job or any other isolated slice of my identity.

    […]

    Maybe it would be easier to navigate the dissolving boundaries between public and private spaces if we all had a variety of names with which to signal the aspects of ourselves currently on display. And maybe we should remember that our first glimpse of a person is just one small piece of who they really are.

    I came across this op-ed a while back, and it’s been in the front of my mind for a while now. I really love Stoya’s viewpoints on privacy. She’s thinking really far ahead, and might be onto something valuable here. Holding onto a single name is pretty archaic (not to mention difficult to do effortlessly across the ever-more crowded digital landscape) nowadays isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have contextual aliases available to users everywhere?

    A public alias. A private alias. A work alias. An expressive alias. A commenting alias. Each username, an extension of our whole-self. Each one signaling a segment of digital and personal self. I think this would be a remarkable addition to a product like Twitter.

  • Finally, it’s 2019

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    5 min read

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    Looking back on 2018, I haven’t been this happy, or this productive in a very long time. It feels good to reflect on this past year. By comparison, when 2017 drew to a close, I came to the conclusion that it was a difficult year. It ended with mixed feelings of nostalgia, regret, and a lot of uncertainty.

    2018 was a totally different ballgame though. I began the year with two very simple goals in mind:

    • Skill building
    • Health

    That’s it. Underpromise and over-deliver 😁

    I busted my ass at work (at the time, I was working for an ad agency). I learned lot’s of things there, (and re-learned even more outside of work hours). Let me tell you right now, there are merits to skipping happy hour with your co-workers and going home to work on side-projects (or just going home to relax).

    I finally picked up React (and Typescript for that matter). Spent a lot of time with Shopify’s tools (for a side-project), went back to Ruby for a bit and spent a considerable amount of time with tried-and-true PHP.

    While on the subject of PHP — I joined Vimeo full-time, as a Front-end Developer. Thanks to amazing and open environment here, I learned even more regarding React, Git best practices, and how to write good PRs. As a bonus, I became a better Designer — mainly via feedback and collaboration. The tried-and-true iterative design process has been missing from my work-life since college, and it feels good to be part of a team that treats design as a first-class citizen. I’m sure I’ll be writing more about Vimeo as time goes on.

    I focused most of my energies on mental health, which I recommend to anyone and everyone for the year 2019. Taking time to relax more did wonders (although leaving the “Ad World” really did most of the leg work here, I do not miss the hours or the pressure). Exercising more self-control with screen-time when I’m off work was a big one for me too. I tried cutting back on video games as well (even if I wasn’t entirely successful with that, it is for the better).

    I’ve also begun to switch gears in my morning/evening commute routine too. Listening to more audiobooks than news or podcasts has been a mostly positive thing. Mainly because when commuting home in the evening, it can be really stressful. Nothing is more dreadful than a packed, hot, humid subway car, full of hundreds of sighs and negativity as millions of New Yorkers head home after a long day in the office. For whatever reason, there’s something very soothing about audiobooks, even at the height of the evening rush-hour.

    Which leads me to my running routine. However irregular the days may have been, I ran more in 2018 than the year before, which is good I suppose. On the days I did decide to run, I wouldn’t run further than 2 miles at the most. My regret for 2018 is that I probably should be doing more than just running. Perhaps a more varied selection of cardio that involves my other limbs like swimming, rowing, or something.

    So yeah, 2018 was a pretty good year for my personal goals. But I have so much more in my life than just myself.

    My girlfriend, and best friend, Leah Constantine (@dumbcurator) joined The Metropolitan Museum of Art, a highly prestigious institution of art and history. But a week before that, in May of 2018 she graduated from The Pratt Institute School of Information’s Master of Science in Library and Information Science. Simply put, Leah’s amazing. Here’s her website.

    In 2018, we didn’t travel as much as we would have liked. And that’s okay. For the most part, we stayed in NYC all year. I travelled to Texas for my step-father’s birthday and I was happy I did, because we skipped Thanksgiving with our families to save money. It panned out well for us, because for one, we did another road-trip to Texas for Christmas. And for two, we wanted to begin saving money for trips elsewhere for 2019. 

    Also, there was a lot of really good movies I watched in 2018!

    All in all, 2018 was a fantastic year of growth for my girlfriend and I — honestly can’t wait to see what’s in store for the rest of this year. For 2019, I’m going to focus on several things:

    • Focus on fitness and continue to monitor my health
    • Eat better (less meat, more greens)
    • Travel when possible
    • Make a dent in my student loans
    • Maintain one side-project at a time (instead of say 3 or 4, just keep it simple for goodness sake)
    • Read more books

    See you next year!

  • The Surprising Power of The Long Game

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    1 min read

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    From The Farnam Street Blog:

    The long game is the opposite of the short game, it means paying a small price today to make tomorrow’s tomorrow easier. If we can do this long enough to see the results, it feeds on itself. From the outside, the long game looks pretty boring:

    • Saving money and investing it for tomorrow
    • Leaving the party early to go get some sleep
    • Investing time in your relationship today so you have a foundation when something happens
    • Doing your homework before you go out to play
    • Going to the gym rather than watching Netflix

    The author closes with excellent food for thought:

    In everything you do, you’re either playing a short term or long term game. You can’t opt out and you can’t play a long-term game in everything, you need to pick what matters to you. But in everything you do time amplifies the difference between long and short-term games. The question you need to think about is when and where to play a long-term game. A good place to start is with things that compound: knowledge, relationships, and finances.

  • On Mediocrity and Having Hobbies

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    3 min read

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    Contributing New York Times opinion writer, Tim Wu:

    I’m a little surprised by how many people tell me they have no hobbies. It may seem a small thing, but — at the risk of sounding grandiose — I see it as a sign of a civilization in decline. The idea of leisure, after all, is a hard-won achievement; it presupposes that we have overcome the exigencies of brute survival. Yet here in the United States, the wealthiest country in history, we seem to have forgotten the importance of doing things solely because we enjoy them.

    […]

    But there’s a deeper reason, I’ve come to think, that so many people don’t have hobbies: We’re afraid of being bad at them. Or rather, we are intimidated by the expectation — itself a hallmark of our intensely public, performative age — that we must actually be skilled at what we do in our free time. Our “hobbies,” if that’s even the word for them anymore, have become too serious, too demanding, too much an occasion to become anxious about whether you are really the person you claim to be.

    While hyperbolic at first, I think Tim is onto something here. Having a hobby is hard. There’s certainly a deep social expectation that one must be an expert to satisfy the appearance of a hobbyist. I’ve felt it. What once was leisure, is now subject to the intensity and bombardment of excellence.

    There’s nothing’s wrong with maintaining mediocrity — and there’s certainly nothing wrong with amateur hobbies either. Be it painting, drawing, yoga, reading, jogging, or even playing video games (or golf, for  a different generation). Skill shouldn’t matter in the arena of hobbyists. That’s the whole point. It’s just a hobby.

    I’m not saying hobbies have no room for improvement. I’m sure many will seek out means to hone their craft. Others will not. Some will become frustrated and move onto other hobbies. That’s how it should work. Probably best to ignore societal pressures to pro-actively level-up your hobby too. Let’s say you enjoy gardening. You’ve’re under no obligation to study up on heredity, and follow the footsteps of Gregor Mendel in breeding varieties of pea plants. Because, well that would no longer make it a hobby wouldn’t it?

    The entire concept of having a hobby at all is because we enjoy leisure and relaxation. Focus on yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

  • Let’s Take a Walk

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    4 min read

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    Visit Link

    Living in NYC, I walk a lot. Looking over my Activity Record on my iPhone, my average step count is probably run-of-the-mill for most New Yorkers.

    It should come as no surprise that the more walkable cities are also the most popular places to live. What should come as a surprise is that creativity may be a function of walking and time. By proxy, the cities that are most walkable, are likely to be the most creative. More on that later.

    Let’s back up. This piece from the New York Times was initially published in 2014, but I only came across this via Hacker News. As a sidenote, I enjoy reading HN threads such as this one I just have to share:

    I’ve been doing this ever since I can remember. But it only works if I exit the room so I always assumed it’s related to the doorway effect (the brain forgets/discards stuff when you walk through a doorway). […]

    A reply:

    L’esprit d’escalier (“staircase wit”) [Wikipedia Link]

    I love how often HN comment threads can take from one place, and lead you down another perspective or parse a metaphor less traveled. Anyways, back to the New York Times piece.

    With the enthusiastic support of her adviser, Daniel Schwartz, a professor in the Stanford Graduate School of Education, Dr. Oppezzo recruited a group of undergraduate students and set out to see if she could goose their creativity. Gathering her volunteers in a deliberately dull, unadorned room equipped with only a desk and (somewhat unusually) a treadmill, Dr. Oppezzo asked the students to sit and complete tests of creativity, which in psychological circles might involve tasks like rapidly coming up with alternative uses for common objects, such as a button. Then the participants walked on the treadmill, at an easy, self-selected pace that felt comfortable. The treadmill faced a blank wall. While walking, each student repeated the creativity tests, which required about eight minutes.

    For almost every student, creativity increased substantially when they walked. Most were able to generate about 60 percent more uses for an object, and the ideas were both “novel and appropriate.”

    Now that’s something I can get into! But, if you’re like me, it’s not like we can all work and walk simultaneously. Let’s be realistic here. What about walking then working? Or, vice versa for that matter.

    So Dr. Oppezzo next tested whether the effects lingered after a walk had ended. She had another group of students sit for two consecutive sessions of test-taking and subsequently walk for about eight minutes while tossing out ideas for object re-use, then sit and repeat the test.

    Again, walking markedly improved people’s ability to generate creative ideas, even when they sat down after the walk. In that case, the volunteers who had walked produced significantly more and subjectively better ideas than in their pre-exercise testing period.

    Not bad. Not bad at all. Measuring subjective results like creativity is obviously challenging. I’ll take these 2014 results with a grain of salt for sure.

    However, I’m reminded of Walter Isaacson’s biography on Steve Jobs. Jobs insisted on so many walking meetings, walk-breaks and walking brainstorms. Sure, Jobs was a colossal nutbag asshole who regularly destroyed interpersonal relationships at the behest of Apple, shareholders and ultimately his own demons. But his creativity, and persistence to inspire those around him to take the lead was insurmountably, undeniably a trademark many hope to emulate even to this day. The fruits of the labors then have led Apple to where they are now. 

    trends.embed.renderExploreWidget(“TIMESERIES”, {“comparisonItem”:[{“keyword”:”walkable cities”,”geo”:”US”,”time”:”2008-08-06 2018-09-06″},{“keyword”:”best places to move to”,”geo”:”US”,”time”:”2008-08-06 2018-09-06″}],”category”:0,”property”:””}, {“exploreQuery”:”date=2008-08-06%202018-09-06&geo=US&q=walkable%20cities,best%20places%20to%20move%20to”,”guestPath”:”https://trends.google.com:443/trends/embed/”});

    If the Jobsian allusion doesn’t convince you, perhaps this will — New York City, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco and a handful of others are listed as the most creative cities to live in the US. What do most of the these cities have in common? Considerable mass transit infrastructure, notable walkability scores, and growing populations. Sure none of those links are authorities on creativity. But one truth is evident. People are moving to walkable cities, or at the very least want to move to walkable cities.

    The next time you’re in a creative rut, my recommendation is to go take a walk. That, or move to a walkable city. 🙃

  • From The (Previously) Richest Man In the World

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    5 min read

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    From 2010 through 2013, Carlos Slim Helú held the title as the wealthiest man on Earth. Briefly overtaking Bill Gates title was a big deal at the time. Slim has a storied career. He grew his wealth investing in wide variety of Mexican industries when no one else would: construction, soft drink companies, printing, real estate, bottling and among other things, mining.

    The title of wealthiest person alive, as of writing this, is currently and unsurprisingly, Jeff Bezos.

    Slim’s website, available in English (y en español), is a bit dated but has some real nuggets. He once penned a letter to students (of university) regarding a variety of topics. From privilege, overcoming strife, risks, responsibility and success. It’s easy to dismiss words from monumentally entrepreneurs, but Slim is a expressively thankful, sagacious and dense like iron. It’s a beautiful read.

    The entirety of his letter, for posterity:

    Carlos Slim, in a letter to the university community, gives advise to the most outstanding students on what, in his opinión, are the most important things in life.

    Mexico City, June 1994

    I write to you this letter in order to share some of my life experiences, hoping it will contribute to your education, your way of thinking and living, your emotional well-being, your sense of responsibility to yourselves and to others, your maturity, and above all, to your happiness, which should be the result of your daily existence.

    You are privileged within society due to your talents and efforts, and for the best reason, your own worth.
    Success is not about doing things well or even very well, or being acknowledged by others. It is not an external opinion, but rather an internal status. It is the harmony between the soul and your emotions, which requires love, family, friendship, authenticity and integrity.

    To be as exceptional as you are is a privilege, but it also entails many risks that can have an impact on values that are much more important than professional, economic, social or political “success”. Emotional strength and stability are in the interior life, and in avoiding emotions that erode the soul such as envy, jealousy, arrogance, lust, selfishness, vengeance, greed and laziness, which are a poison that is ingested little by little.

    When you give, do not expect to receive. “Fragrance clings to the hand that gives the rose,” says a Chinese proverb. Do not allow negative feelings and emotions to control your mind. Emotional harm does not come from others; it is conceived and developed within ourselves.

    Do not mix up your values or betray your principles. Life’s road is very long, but it is traveled fast. Live the present intensely and fully, do not let the past be a burden, and let the future be an incentive. Each person forges his or her own destiny and it may influence reality. Do not ignore it.

    Live with positive feelings and emotions such as love, friendship, loyalty, courage, joy, good humor, enthusiasm, peace, serenity, patience, trust, tolerance, prudence and responsibility. Do not allow their opposites to invade your soul, may they pass quickly from your mind, do not allow them to stay there, banish them. You will make mistakes many times, it is normal and human; but try to make them small, then accept, correct and forget them. Do not be obsessed by them; heaven and hell are within us. What is most valuable in life does not cost anything but is very precious: love, friendship, nature and what man has been able to achieve with it; the forms, colors, sounds, smells that we perceive with our senses can only be appreciated when we are emotionally awake.

    Live without fear and guilt; fear is the worst feeling men can have, it weakens them, inhibits action and depresses them. Guilt is a tremendous burden in our lives, the way we think and act. Guilt and fear make the present difficult and obstruct the future. To fight them, let us have good sense and accept ourselves as we are, with our realities, our merits and our sorrows.

    Staying occupied displaces preoccupation and problems, and when we face our problems, they disappear. Thus, they make us stronger every day. We should learn from failure, and successes should be silent incentives. Act always as your conscience dictates, because it never lies. Fear and guilt will then be minimal. Do not block yourself in, do not ruin your life, live it with intelligence, with soul and senses aware and on the alert; get to know their manifestations and train yourselves to appreciate and enjoy life.

    Work well done is not only a responsibility to yourselves and society; it is also an emotional need.

    At the end we depart with nothing, we leave behind only our work, family and friends, and, perhaps, a positive influence which we have planted.

    My very best wishes,
    Carlos Slim Helú

  • For Good Vibes, Be Empathetic

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    2 min read

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    Meg Lewis, an amazing entrepreneur, designer, consultant and all-around-amazing human — recently published a wonderful post on dealing with personal mental health in public:

    Excited to share my all-time favorite thing to do on the subway, or other public transportation. It’s also one of the best empathy exercises I’ve thought of and really helps to remind me to feel the moments of love and pain we all go through. It’s a really great way to remember how much we all deserve happy, whole, peaceful lives. If you’re not a public transportation rider, I’d recommend this exercise in any public area (coffee shops and airports are great!).

    She goes on to describe her 4-step meditation process in full here. It's absolutely brilliant — thoughtful and effective. From time to time, when life gets you down, or your anxiety is throttling your life-force, you're forced to just wait it out in agony. These sorts of episodes always happen at the worse times too don't they? Right before a meeting, on your commute to work, in a busy store, or a crowded subway car.

    They're frustrating to deal with to say the least. While public meditation can be a difficult discipline to master, it seems Meg has discovered a great meditation technique that has certainly helped me, and I hope it helps you too. Bonus, it will help you empathize with those around you, and it feels like we need that more than ever.

    Sidenote: Meg hosts branding and logo design workshops, and I think they're totally worth the coin. Check them out here.